Wednesday Inspiration 12.17.14

Such an aspiring girl

Jesscbnyc

I found myself a little discouraged the other day after a conversation with a friend. Long story short my friend confirmed in somewhat of an indirect way that someone I already suspected wasn’t a fan of me in fact doesn’t like me. Now I know we’re not always going to be someone’s cup of tea, and I don’t expect to please everyone. Sometimes without meaning to, you just rub people the wrong way. I remember Robert Ferguson saying something a few weeks ago about how Kane, one of our pastors, rubs him the wrong way because Kane is so much more jovial than him. So as you can see, that’s kind of silly, right? It’s not like Kane said something mean to Robert, or did anything serious to offend him. Sometimes people just don’t gravitate to you, and that’s okay. We all have different personalities and interests and sometimes they clash.

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5 Positively Transformative Reasons to Write a Journal

*Positive Provocations*

5 Positively Transformative Reasons to Write a Journal“Life is a train of moods like a string of beads; and as we pass through them they prove to be many colored lenses, which paint the world their own hue, and each shows us only what lies in its own focus.”~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

As this glorious December begins and we are all in introspective modes cause of the end of the year approaching rapidly…I’m thinking about Essence. I’m thinking about that Essence that is revealed when we have found or touched Depth. You know what I mean…I’m talking about that amazing calm, glowy, light, airy feeling we get when we see those who are already Spiritually evolved. That certain essence is present in each and every one of us. After-all, we Are Beings of Light first. This body is just a vessel for that being of light.

So, How can we reveal our True Essence? The…

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Get out of Clue Clue Land and Decide to Be YOU

A chance for you to open your mind and become a better person

*Positive Provocations*

“It’s choice – not chance – that determines your destiny.”~Jean Nidetch~

I remember when I was about 8 years old and loved playing with my Barbie doll sets, if anyone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I said a Barbie doll. And why? Because my Barbie has such beautiful things. Then when I was 12 yrs old, I was crazy about painting and wanted to be a Painter. At 13 it was an astronaut, at 15 it was a teacher, at 16 it was a doctor and at 18 well I just wanted to be left the hell alone!!

The point to all this is, we are constantly asked by everyone around – What do you want to be when you grow up???

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Enigma…

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The clouds are parting in the sky and the rain is finally going away. In a way, I sort of feel like the weather is reflecting off the path that I’m setting for this woman. She’s been casting a roof of confusion over my head. A burden that has landed on my shoulders and yet…the more I can think about it….I more want it….

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“STOP!!! I can quit anytime I want! I just choose not to!”

You probably don’t know what I’m talking about. It’s hard to even imagine it happened myself, but I can still remember it clearly. On Monday when I walked into the office, my main goal was to avoid the Woman as long as possible. I knew she worked in my department, so I had to find every way possible to get pass the walls without any chances of her catching me.

After a few hours passed, I was actually impressed that I managed to avoid her for that long. Usually whenever I try to avoid a particular person, it’s like faith has a sick sense of humor by having that person run right into me. I’m serious. I could be in China and if I’m trying to avoid someone, somehow, someway, they’ll run into me as I walk into the supermarket.

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“What the? Why are you in China? How is this even possible?”

But for the morning, I didn’t see her. I sort of wanted to check outside to look for her car, but I remained glued to my chair. I had to fight all the temptations battling inside my head.

I knew trying to avoid her forever  was nearly impossible, but my goal was to just avoid her long enough to gain all my thoughts. I had to figure out what to say after the dinner party incident. Should I ask her about the way we kissed? The way she pushed me against that wall, touching me in a soft, firm way. The way her aunt and boy-toy barged into the room about to get it on. As embarrassed as I was to admit, I didn’t know what to do. All I wanted to do was avoid her long enough to figure out how I wouldn’t create an awkward situation the next time I seen her.

When lunch arrived, a couple of people in the office asked if I wanted to go with them, but to make sure I didn’t run into her as I walked out the building, I remained where I was. But they pretty much forced me to come along, so as we walked down the hall, my eyes widened like plates, my feet nearly stuck to the floor, and I thought I was about to go into a hyperventilation.

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“I knew I shouldn’t have watched that John Carter movie.”

There she was. The woman. She was walking our way. The closer she got, the faster my thoughts went. The office workers I was with seemed to be in a world of their own, but I was away from whatever topic they were going over at that moment. I was about to engage with her.

When she approached, she just gave us a smile and nodded her head, asking us all how our day was going. She didn’t seem to focus on me anymore than anyone else in the group and she kept the short conversation only about how we were doing. I was the only one who didn’t say anything though, appearing as an isolationist.

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“I thought girls like moody guys because of those stupid vampire movies.”

But it wasn’t like I did it on purpose. I was confused and bewildered to the mask she had on. It was bombshell how she played off as a concerned supervisor speaking with her coworkers. Inside, I clapped, knowing if this was a game she was playing, then she was incredibly good. But the other part of my brain began questioning whether this was a game or not. What if she was serious and what happened that night was just a fluke. It couldn’t have been possible though. What she did was passionate….or maybe this was all part of her play.

I think she noticed it before she departed, but I gave her an evil glare full of discontent. I didn’t want to express my animosity because of this game she was playing, but it didn’t work so well. This is why I never desired my emotions and logical thoughts to be in one bubble. It wasn’t good at all and it only made things complicated.

I couldn’t focus on work for the rest of the day because all I could think about was that woman. Did she think she was better than me or was this her game? What was going on through her mind when she spoke to us? She smiled the same way to everyone and gave everyone the same level of respect and attention.

Toward the end of the day, I was given a call by my boss to drop off some paperwork over to the Information Manager. So as I got up to deliver my work, I didn’t pay attention to the room number I was supposed to deliver it to until I reached the front door. It was the Woman’s office.

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“Just walk through these doors little boy.”

Fear took over my body and I didn’t know whether to tuck the papers under the door or not knock on it at all. It seemed like faith wasn’t taking a nap that day. But looking at the situation, I knew I just couldn’t ignore her forever and had to face her sooner or later. So after taking a deep breath, I knocked on the door and stepped inside.

My teeth chattered and my palms started to sweat. The woman was at her desk typing up something until she noticed me take my first steps into the room. When the door closed behind me, I almost jumped, questioning if that happened on its own for a quick second. The closer I got to her, the more I analyzed her reactions, posture, and facial expression. It all seemed normal to me. Her friendly smile, peaceful eyes, and relaxed posture. As long as I kept things professional, everything would be fine.

When I handed her the paperwork, she thanked me before looking it over to give me any changes she might want made. After going through it, she patted it down on the desk and told me everything looked fine. Before I was about to leave, I came to notice another person coming to my side. So I stopped because she wanted to shake my hand before I left.

I was a little edgy at first, but when I read her eyes, they seemed professional. So the moment I reached out to grab her hand, she tightened it and pulled me up to her. I didn’t even know she was that strong, but the next thing I realized was being just an inch from her. And that’s when I saw it. Her face, eyes, and attitude were completely different. It was the predator.

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“Pull your pants down or face a red laser to your face!”

“Why do you show me fear when I’m near you?” She whispered, grasping my waists and spreading open a wide lustful smile. “Is it because of that night?”

Again, I was at a lost of words. I took a deep breath and decided it was time to remove her hands. But they didn’t move. When I did managed to say something, she placed a finger on my lips and said, “Don’t say anything…don’t make a sound…”

I didn’t know what she meant by that until I felt her wet lips and tongue rubbing against the surface of my neck. Her hand went under my shirt and she rubbed my back, scratching her sharp red nails on it. My body got hot and cold at the same time. It’s hard to describe it, but I didn’t want that feeling to end. Instead of pushing away from her, I clutched her back and buttocks. A slight giggle escaped her mouth and she pushed me against the desk, locking her lips with mine.

What we were doing was not allowed in the facility where we worked and I had to end it then and there before we got in trouble. But I couldn’t. Whether it was because I was in the moment or I loved that edgy feeling coasting through my mind, I just didn’t care.

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“You think I care? DO YOU REALLY THINK I CARE?”

“You’re mine…” She muttered, biting my lower lip and before I had the chance to reply to that comment, her hand went down my pants. My eyes widened once she grabbed my stick and played with it in ways that I didn’t know was possible. I dished her a hard stare but she her smile only extended, continuing to play with my member.

My legs started to cramp and I was pretty sure a slight moan escaped my mouth the faster she went. I had to tell her to stop before I was going to explode, but something about her made me comply to her commands. I was captured by her aroma and I couldn’t find a way to escape.

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“I like being in here so much that the guards gave me the keys to my cell.”

Closing my eyes, I leaned my head back as she continued. I knew I was getting closer and closer to the bomb letting go. But luckily right before it was about to go off, she released my rod and reached up to give me one last kiss before saying, “I still need you to finish a few other reports before you leave, so I can’t afford to dirty you up.”

I was lost. When she stepped back to her desk, her mask changed back to the professional woman I first met. I think I stood there for five minutes trying to figure out what happened. I would have asked, I just didn’t have the courage to do so. The only acknowledgment I gave was a, “yes,” before I stepped out of her office. But as I walked down that hallway to get back to my desk, I decided this woman was one of the most fascinating persons I’ve ever came across with. So complicated and yet so simple. That was when I gave her a new name in my head…..Enigma

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“Yes, that sounds great. Now it’s time for a drink.”

Body Paint

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I didn’t know what to do or think about this woman from work….

She won’t escape my mind and all I could imagine were her red lips pressing against mines as she rubbed her warm body on me.  That heated moment of passion flared up in my mind as I remembered my hands caressing her behind. Her lustful tone brought goose bumps on  my skin when she spoke to my ears. I think I even started to daydream about her.

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“I daydream about models 87% of my time at work.” 

I became nervous on Sunday because I knew I was going to have to go back to work the next day and meet up with the woman. Her light green eyes would capture me into her world with no way to escape. Her words would haunt my soul and the touch of her bare skin will shiver the back of my neck.

I didn’t want to think that way, but even though what she did was against my will, I couldn’t help but desire that feeling, that touch again. Something about her made this hunt to unmask her very entertaining. As long as I didn’t let her get into my head too deep, I should be fine.

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“Why won’t you leave me alone? I just said hi to you to be polite?” 

As I sat back on my chair relaxing as I drank a glass of tea, I decided to let my mind leave the subject by going online–only to end up doing research on her. It didn’t take long to locate the information I needed about this woman and her family. I nearly gapped from who they really were. They were well known across many countries and had the money to buy the company we worked at. And yet, she worked everyday there like me. Of course her position was somewhat higher than mine, but that still didn’t get past the point.

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“My parents own the company, I just like to past out the orders in one of their shops.”

I sort of felt like I was going to a point where I was stalking this woman, but I didn’t care. I wanted to know more about her. I was hungry for knowledge about this woman.  After a couple of hours of playing around, a thought popped into my head as to what I almost forgot to do. Earlier that day, I told my “friend” that I was going to meet up with him so we could go shopping at the mall since I had nothing else planned for that day besides fight my own thoughts of temptations.

At 3 pm, I stopped by his house so we could start our shopping session that I started not to look forward too. The last thing I wanted was to encounter that incident at Hill Crest again. However, when I walked into his house since the door was unlocked, I saw a very unpleasant surprised.

Right before me was an attractive blonde woman standing naked from head to toe. But what made it so strange was that she didn’t even have a shocking expression on her face. I expected a scream or even so much as a peak. But she just gave me a friendly greeting along with a wave. I think that’s what made me feel most uncomfortable.

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“It’s called freedom of expression. Get with the program.”

As she stared at me, I finally gained my right state of mind. So I backed away, only to bump against the wall. The pain would have distracted me but all I did was appologize as I tried to look for the door. But I ended up tripping on my own feet, resulting in a clashful crash on the ground.

“Are you alright?” She asked with a slight giggle as she reached out to grab my hand.

Awkwardly accepting it, I got to my feet scratching the back of my head trying to bring up ideas as to what to say to this woman. It was clear she was comfortable standing before me as naked a new born child. I raised an eyebrow and the first thing that came across my mind was that she had a free mind.

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“If I want to shop in the mall naked, then I should have the right to do so!”

“Hey, bout time you come here.” My friend said as he stepped into the living room holding a paint brush. It was as if I was the only one who had any problems with a naked woman standing in the living room. He asked if I was ready to go shopping and told the woman that their session was done for the day.

When we drove to the city, I then had the courage to ask him why there was a naked woman in his living room. Before answering my question, he leaned back in his seat, flash me a quick smile and said, “Calm down bro. It’s called Body Painting. It’s off the range dude.”

He seemed suprised when I told him this was the first time I’ve ever heard of body painting. Apparentely the point of the activity was to appreciate the body of their lover by using paint. It was the hottest thing to try out and that every couple had to do it at least once. There were a variety of ways to complete the act such as having a third party paint a picture of a naked couple, video tape somone pleasuring themselves and editing it, and painting each other bodies. These were all acts done before experiencing wet, mind-blowing sex.

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“So once you finish painting me, can we have sex?”

He seemed to have had no problem with me even seeing his girlfriend naked. In fact, he asked me what I thought about her and if her body rocked. I had no reply.

The rest of the day didn’t really matter to me because I began wondering about this thing known as Body Art Painting. Would I ever have a woman do that to me? Would I feel comfortable doing it? The idea of someone painting me naked wasn’t the fondest of ideas. And yet, there was something hot about the idea of a woman….particually that WOMAN, rubbing her soft small hands over my body. How she’ll grabbed my thighs fimly with confidence escaping her eyes, telling me she wanted me there and now.

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“Let me see your neck so I could….appreciate it…”

Forcing myself to close my eyes and forget what I just thought about, I decided that it was best to forget that woman because her lustful ways were digging right into my head more than I was comfortable with.

The Predator….

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I’m not really sure how I can describe how my night on Friday went. I mean I supposed it went sort of good considering I’m not too used to going out on dates so often. But to the average man, I guess I’ve bombed it big time.

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“Please don’t touch me and even acknowledge that I’m here…”

When she I drove to her place to pick her up, I was actually surprised how nice her apartment was. I came too early it appeared because when I got there, she asked me to wait on the couch as she finished her hair in the bathroom. So I did, trying my best not to analyze her home.

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“It can’t be considered nosy when you’re sitting on it.”

I wasn’t sure how much money she made, but I was pretty sure it wasn’t enough to afford this suite. So the first thing that came to mind was that she had a wealthy family…which made me to wonder about her personality. She had several paintings that had to cost around $400. The only reason I knew was because last year out of boredom, I took a trip to a art shop. I couldn’t believe how much the things in there cost. I mean, though some of the paintings were amazing, I  was stunned at the prices. It made me wonder why people paid so much for a drawing. It makes sense because of the hard work they put into it and yet strange at the same time…

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“I charge my paintings $1 for every minute I worked on it.”

When she finally stepped out the bathroom with a flushed face, I greeted her with a hug, smelling the sweet perfume she had on. I couldn’t hint as to what it was, but I knew it was familiar. I just couldn’t lay my hand as to what it was. It started bugging me and I had to dig into my mind to find out as I took a good look at her. Either she was the most overdressed woman I’ve ever met, or we were going somewhere that I would be underdressed.

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“I think I’ll walk in the park with this today.”

I mean what I had on wasn’t the worst thing in the world. I actually feel impressed I didn’t walk into her place with pants and a shirt on. I actually on a suit….sort of. I had the pants, the collar shirt, and the dress jacket…I just had on regular shoes and no tie.

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“I swear if I knew we were going to go out to a FANCY dinner party, I would have not shopped at Big Five.”

But she had on a long red dress that met with the floor. Diamond bracelets posted on her left wrist. A diamond necklace that shined brighter than any my light bulbs. Her hair went curly down her back. To tell you the truth, I sort of felt like she was going to ask me to go back to my place so I could change.

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“I refuse to let you step out of this house unless you look like a ten in my standards!”

She must have caught me starring at her for a long period of time because she reflected a sly smile and grabbed my hand, taking me to the door. She told me not to be nervous and that she could tell I wasn’t used to going out. This bothered me considering she was the one analyzing me now.

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“I just asked her what she wanted to watch and somehow it turned into an argument.”

We didn’t talk much during the ride, but I did ask her what was I going to expect from this party. She told me it would be a regular hosting party that a friend of hers was having. She didn’t want to get too deep into details, so I dropped the subject. She must have been obligated to go to this party despite her free will. Which meant this “friend” was most likely a family member who she wasn’t too close to. But you can’t say no to family when you’re using their income to afford her place.

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“Now everyone smile for the picture if you wish to see your next allotment check.”

When we arrived to our designation, I nearly dropped my jaw because of the size of the house…or better yet mansion. Dozens of cars were parked and when we arrived to the front, a valet took my car so he could park it for me. I almost expected to walk on a red carpet when we headed for the door.

When we entered the room, I’ve never seen so many rich people before. They were all gathered in little groups speaking to each other about who knew what. During the time we spent there, we were greeted by a lovely couple who gave me a cold stare. They probably seen my shoes and already hated me. But how was I supposed to know we were going to the Monopoly man’s house.

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“Is that how you come to my house? Do you want to be sent to jail?”

Come to find out they were her parents and the party we were attending was a family hosting event. My date didn’t really seem too excited speaking with them, so I decided to get a better as to who they were. They didn’t really enjoy answering my questions, believing they were above me. They asked me what I did for a living as well as my relations with their daughter. I didn’t even know how to answer that.

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“I see so many bad routes that could happen based on my answer.”

Before the questions got anymore awkward, my date made a light giggle as she grabbed my hand and dragged me away. That’s when the night began to turn weird for my date.

After getting past several people who tried to engage in small talk with us, she took us upstairs to her old room where a balcony was at. I didn’t know what to do as I stood there besides her looking at the cloudy dark sky. She was just in deep thought. I would have said something, but I actually enjoyed the moment.

Before I asked her a question that’s been on my mind, she finally said something that caught me off guard. She wanted to talk about family and values. But I felt I was the last person to talk about this with. I’ve never been that close to my family and it was rare that I spoke to them. I know it’s weird, but I’ve never really grew up around them. I spent a good time of my childhood reading and spending it in my room. Which could explain why I have a bit of a social disorder sometimes…..

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“Maybe I do have a social disorder, or perhaps you’re the one with social dependence? You ever thought about that Ms. Flower?”

Then as we were stepping back into her bedroom, she pinned me against the wall and starred into my eyes. This never happened to me before so I was stunned without a single thought penetrating from my brain. I couldn’t read the situation and she had me in my grip.

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“Don’t let her see your boner, don’t let her see your boner..”

As her face moved closer to mine, she whispered, “What type of girl do you like?”

I never really had a peculiar type of girl that I liked other than she better be intelligent. Other than that, I’ve never really dwelled on the subject. But I couldn’t even say that because her hands started to go under my shirt, feeling on my chest. A cold and yet burning sensation took ahold of my body as if her hands were made of static electricity. I accidently grunted as her hand slowly touched my thighs and went down my leg.

A lustful smile curled on her red lips as she touched my….well rod is what I’ll rather say. Part of my mind wanted to tell her to stop and yet the words wouldn’t escape my mouth. I took light breathes to control my thoughts and stared into her eyes as she was just a few centimeters from my face.

It was probably the next words that finally allowed me to catch my guard. I can still remember them. In a sweet and yet fierce tone, she said, “From the moment I’ve seen you walk into my office, I could already read you. Even as I touch your penis, I know you’re not used to this. You have a bubble full of innocence and you don’t allow anyone to get close to you.”

That’s when I realized the type of women she was. It was hard to tell at first, but I was finally able to read her. She wanted to take control of me and make me her prey. She was a predator because of the suppress times her parents given her. She must have spent much of her time alone from society as well, giving her the interest to read about human psychology. I was her human experiment to see if she could change the way I acted and behave.

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“Cut the small talk because your penis is mine for the rest of the night.”

My thoughts screamed for her to let me go and yet the next thing I realized was my lips against hers. She pressed her body against me and as if it was by instinct, my body started to move on its own, reciting books I’ve read on how to make a woman feel amazing in bed. My hands griped her waist and ass, hoping I knew what I was doing.

As she started unbuttoning my shirt, her door busted opened with a brunette around the age of my parent giggling as a man my age sucked her neck. They must have not noticed us as he slammed her on the bed, but my date’s face became red.

“Aunty!” My date screamed as the two horny victims on the bed noticed us. The man didn’t look nearly as embarrassed as the cougar next to him. But that embarrassment quickly left her face when she took a notice of me standing in the corner. It was as if she knew who I was because she waved at me and winked. I quickly buttoned up my shirt, realizing what she was looking at.

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“How about we make this into a foursome?”

I didn’t have much time to really get to know the aunt since my date dragged me out of the room. She seemed too flush to say anything to me as we walked down the halls and back down to the party. For the rest of the night, we just stayed in the crowds and I had a chance to know her family and friends besides the aunt. But even though we were socializing, I could only think about what she whispered in my ear. It was like she was a completely different person than from the bedroom. She was two faced.

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“I like to be play as a Disney Princess in public, but as a playboy bunny when I’m alone.”

Before we were about to leave, her parents insisted that she stay for the rest of the night with them. She was reluctant to do it, but they wouldn’t stop their insist, saying she had too much to drink and had to wake up early the next morning for some kind of event planned. But the parents weren’t kind enough to let me stay, which didn’t bother me.

As I drove home, I knew this battle between the two of us wasn’t going to end this night. I didn’t know whether to be afraid of not, but I had to find out more about this girl. She was like a puzzle and I had a deep feeling that there was something behind the masks she showed me tonight.

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“You can keep searching, but you’ll never find out.”

The shopping Event

I’m actually a little excited about my upcoming date on Friday…I’m not sure why exactly, but I’m actually starting to feel a little nervous. So despite what my guts said, I went back to speak with my “friend” about any tips I needed for the big day.

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“Don’t worry, he’s a jerk….so what’s his phone number by the way?”

Given the new feelings that began to overcome me, I took a quick analysis of myself to see what was occurring. And to me, I came to realize that after the whole sex addict convention, I was really intrigue into learning more about this lady from work. This week, every time I seen her walk my way in the office, she smiled and try to start small chat with me. I enjoyed speaking to her and as much as I’d hate to say it, I began to become compel to her beauty. I was beginning to see what some of the horny guys in the office were talking about now.

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“So if I open every door for our date, will you give me head?”

Anyway, back to what I was saying, what got me into thinking I should have a better outfit was when I attended my second day of sex addiction support group on Wednesday, the Host was no longer there. I found out she was taking a break due to personal matters, so we had an overweight man who could have been Santa Claus lost brother take the stand. I didn’t want to say anything, but it was hard to imagine he had a sex addiction. He appeared to be the type who had a porn addiction if anything. But it wasn’t my business to get into that, so I left the matter alone.

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“Now in my day, I had sex with girls that look like Halle Berry.”

 

Before I was about to leave that evening, someone said that on every first date, the best thing to do is to buy something fashionable so you could impress your mate. Normally I would not have cared because despite what anyone thinks, I actually enjoy dressing up everyday. I love wearing collar shirts and dress pants.

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“I love dressing up for the bitches in my head.”

But since I haven’t bought myself anything for a while, I thought this would be a good time to go buy something. So I went to the guy who suggested I buy protection and even though I didn’t want to speak to him because it was his advice that got me sent to a sex addict group, he was the only person who I actually didn’t mind speaking too.

That night he decided to take me out to buy something that could impress my lovely date on Friday. I’m not sure why, but the place he took me to buy a new suit was the mall downtown. I normally don’t like to buy clothes down there, but this was an exception.

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“It’s not a shopping addiction when it’s on sale.”

He took me to many shops down at Hill Crest and he had good knowledge of designer clothing. But during our research, I couldn’t help but wonder if this was about himself because he kept putting clothes on and trying everything I was supposed to put on.

During the time he was trying on a suit, I sat on the couch, minding my own business. I didn’t have much in mind other than the fact that every cloth item in the store cost as much as my Xbox 360.

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“Should I pay 1$ for this cup or 100$ for this cup that looks exactly the same?”

While I was sitting down, I was greeted by a salesman who worked there. He greeted me with a smile and asked if I wanted to try something on. I told him no, but he persist on no matter what I said. It was like no matter what I said, it just didn’t go past his head.

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“Even though you said no, can I see your signature on this piece of paper?”

So I decided to step out of the store to get away from the man because I kept telling him to didn’t want to try anything on. In a way, I sort of felt raped mentally by the man. That’s why I don’t like going to malls that have only a little bit of shops people went to. Because as I walk down the aisles, it’s like every shop is starring at me like a predator. I sort of feel like any moment they’ll hop from behind their booth and try to drag me into their store to buy something. I can even imagine it now. I mean if I don’t want to buy anything from them, I don’t want to buy anything from them. Most of the time I go to the mall is just to window shop by the way.

desparate

“Oh my gosh, a shopper. Let’s see if he wants to buy our beanies!”

But this is the strangest thing. As I was walking down the street, I never noticed so many gay people in my life. I didn’t know how to feel. I normally didn’t have a problem with gay people,  but it was a shock to me. I’m not used to seeing so many gay people. I saw about 7 men holding hands when I got out of my car. I laughed at first when I saw the first couple. But when you see more men holding hands, I began to wonder, what the hell?

gary

“Hahahahaha……….what they? What the hell is going on around here?”

Come to find out, I was in gay city. I didn’t know whether to be scared or what. Because I’m not used to be flirted with by gay people. I mean, how the hell am I supposed to act with that. When guys flirted with me, I’ll felt complimented and wanted to thank him. But I didn’t want to give him any thumbs up about that. So I had to be careful.

careful

“Maybe if I smear mud on myself and walk around naked, they will ignore me.”

During my course across the street, I got some green tea at Starbucks, and had to calm my nerves. I didn’t want anyone I knew catching me on this street, but come to find out, my neighbors did. And to make it worst, the old ladies who swore I was a pervert were walking their grandchildren down the street and pointed at me, saying that I was a pervert. They thought I was in the block trying to find a sex buddy. But I was just there to shop and nothing else.

old-lady

“Oh my gosh, the neighbor is trying to start an orgy on the street.”

I would have yelled at them, but I kept my cool. I just nodded my head and continued my way. As I continued down the street, I kept wondering why people turned gay in the first place. Personally, I know a lot of lesbians because of personal experience. I came to find out they were very friendly people along with the gays,  but I kept wondering why they chased after the same sex. I mean, there had to be an explanation.

So as I continued walking down the street, I came across a park full of gay people gathering to speak about the rights they deserved. I admit, it was odd being among them because everyone thought I was gay. Some of the guys flirted with me, asking if I wanted to go behind one of the bushes or perhaps the bathroom. And as flattered as I was, I had to denied because I don’t do that kind of stuff.

embarressed

“For the thousandth time, I’m not gay!”

But something I did ask was why were they gay in the first place. They said it wasn’t by choice and rather by feeling. In fact, most of them said that. I wanted to believe him, but it hard to believe that. I mean, don’t people chase after others out of their own choice? But last thing I wanted to do was seem like was some left wing activist in the mist of their gathering.

left

“F@#$ you, f@$! you and f@!# you. I hope all the bad things happen in life to you and and no one but you.”

As I was stepping out of the park, I came across one of the members from the sex addict support group. But to make it worse, it was the one who kept starring at me and licking his lips. He gave me a weird greeting, forcing me to shake my hand, but I didn’t know how to react. I knew this man was weird and I didn’t want to chill with him. I didn’t know what he wanted, but I knew it wasn’t pretty.

Anyway, when I escaped that scene and got back to the mall to meet my friend, I decided not to get anything that evening. I was tired, done, obsolete. I couldn’t care what I wore for my date If it was possible, I would have went on my date with just my house clothes on. Or maybe just a white towel wrapped around my body.

towel

“Just to get it clear, you don’t want me showing up to our dates like this?”